“I don’t do perfect”
I said these words out loud to my husband the other day.
I used to put off cleaning the bathroom for days, because I didn’t have time or energy to do a perfect job.
I would get angry at the kids because they weren’t doing well enough and it was a reflection that I wasn’t being a perfect mother.
I would often feel stuck. Or spinning. I just could not start for fear that it would not be good enough.
Does this sound familiar to you? Just notice how often you don’t start because you are scared that it won’t be perfect. How often you feel angry or frustrated because things are not going perfectly.
Our primitive brain wants to find reasons to stop us from taking risks and expending energy. Our primitive brain thinks that it’s saving us from death. Unfortunately the world has evolved and our primitive brain hasn’t caught up yet. Cleaning the bathroom is not going to put us in danger. Luckily as humans we have a pre frontal cortex, a higher brain that helps us rationalise and make decisions in advance.
I want to offer you an idea that is changing my life. If you have a tendency to be a perfectionist, which many of us do, especially woman, yep that mean us mums… I want to offer that it’s possible to aim for 80%, I’m talking B minus work. Errrr, you read that right.
Today I was doing the washing up and I told my husband that because we don’t have hot water (our gas got cut off – we are renovating), it is hard to get the dishes clean. He told me he had noticed. That my youngest son’s lunchbox was covered in butter and he had to rewash it this morning! I cracked up laughing. A year ago I would have been annoyed at him for pointing out my imperfection. Now I think it’s so funny and it no longer bothers me.
I am embracing imperfection and I LOVE it. Two separate friends have pointed out that I have typos in my work, on my blog and on instagram. I love the fact they took the time to read my material and they cared so much they messaged me! Of course I corrected the errors. And I smiled. A year ago I would have cringed and beaten myself up about the mistake.
I’m producing B minus work. It doesn’t mean I’m not producing great work, the concepts are there, the material is meaningful BUT there might be a typo and that’s OK.
Better done than perfect, right?
Is perfectionism holding you back? Try B minus work and see how much more you produce, notice the energy that it produces and notice how much better you feel. Take a load off mama.
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