I saw an article titled “Your Kids Should Not be Most the Important in the Family” and it made me feel lots of things. Defensive, angry, upset but I also agreed with the statement.
Parenting doesn’t come with a manual. I’ve tried to follow a few cheat sheets - attachment parenting, conscious parenting, the Montessori approach… No matter how hard I tried, how hard I researched, I never felt like I was the best mum I could be. I just needed to try harder. Right?
Having a secure parent-child attachment can make all the difference to a child’s level of stress, their ability to manage emotional experiences, their capacity for learning and their social ease. Working on this attachment will help your kids to manage struggles and emotions throughout their lives.
Parenthood is full of contradictions: we want to keep our children safe, yet we also want them to be adventurous and try new things; we want them to feel like the most important people on the planet, but we don’t want them to become conceited or arrogant; and we want them to be independent but can’t help feeling a little rejected when they don’t need us anymore.
This last scenario can be summed up in two words: Separation anxiety.
But the real question is who suffers more? The parents or the children?
How do you know if you’re doing a good job as a parent? How do you know if you’re raising happy, well-adjusted people who will grow into happy, functioning adults? If these questions have ever crossed your mind, then you’re likely doing a great job – but even if they haven’t, chances are that you’re a good-enough parent raising good-enough kids.
But is good enough, enough?